Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

This originally appeared on the Automation Newsgroup posted by Brad Taylor 22nd June 1995. The earliest attribution I have is from Jack Grenard who advises the piece was headed SUE BLUMENSCREID at TERF in 1994. If anyone can clarify authorship more clearly we will be delighted to acknowledge this. Please e-mail Readout with details.

Though this is not poetry it has a certain appeal and even a familiarity which transcends national and literary boundries. It's called Boom and Bust and appeared in the August 2002 issue of Read-out.

Jim has published his Automation Unplugged Pinto's perspectives, pointers & prognostications and more recently Pinto's Points: How to win in the automation business! which contains many of his poems.

From the prolific pen of the doyan of I&C Poets, Jim Pinto formerly of Action Instruments. Now that the Fieldbus Wars have been settled (?) it's time for another war. Is it Wireless? Jim thinks so and his muse has struck once again with The Industrial Wireless Quadrille. Read and enjoy! The Fieldbus Quadrille This piece appeared in the May/Jun'95 issue of Readout At the start of 2000 he returns to this subject: "It seems unbelievable that anyone could vote to make 8 non-interoperable industrial networks a "standard". I felt that this somewhat comical paradox should best be described in poetry.... " The Fieldbus Vote. Net du Jour - a bemuzed look at selecting platforms! This first appeared on the Control Mail-List as did the following. Open SayaMe, Closed SaysaYou! looks at confusion on open and closed systems in the various fieldbus platforms. Bill at the Gates of Hell is yet another spell binder which hit the streets in late 1997. This lead to a follow-up St Bill which places him in a perhaps happier situation. Here is another satirical piece from Mr Pinto's pen called MS Fieldbus Takeover as is The Legal Mugging of Microsoft composed after a legal finding in November 1999. Millennium Meditations is perhaps a final farewell to the 20th century and hello to Y2K. Never say never and of course the Automation Bard has come up with another Y2K offering with the The Y2K Raven. The Wreck of the Mike Bonsignore - though not a Jim Pinto poem it does appear on his web site and marks the end of an era in Honeywell.

No beating about this Bush! - We don't usually stoop to politics on this site, but we are Irish and it's in the blood. We also like Jim Pinto and as a native of the most populous democracy on the globe he also enjoys a good political wrangle. So whether you support Clinton, beloved of the Irish, or O'Bama, or, perish the thought, you are a republican and support McCain, enjoy this acidic work from the pen of the Automation Laureate We think he must have some Irish blood in him somewhere as this is worthy of Jonathon Swift! Now read The Iraq War - 5-years anniversary Bush Lied or see his illustrated version on utube! Pinto the Guru! - After all that warmongering and politics how about looking at the gentler side of Pinto!